Attached. The New Science of Adult Attachment And How It Can Help You Find-And Keep-Love
By Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, M.A. (2010). NY: Penguin Group Inc.
I came across this book when it was recommended by my friend. For every couples therapists, the concept of attachment style (avoidant, anxious, secure, and mixed) is not foreign. I regularly utilize a testing tool to assist clients to identify their attachment styles. In this book, Dr. Amir and Ms. Heller offered a quick overview of thoughts, emotions, and actions of people with anxious and avoidant types of attachment:
If anything in the table above hits home with you, it is of paramount importance to understand how our attachment styles impact our relational dynamics with our beloved ones. Understanding the differences in our attachment styles will help to 1) reduce the chance of taking things personally, as we are able to look at the relational discord more objectively; 2) express our relational needs more assertively, as opposed to aggressively, passively, or passive-aggressively; 3) ensure relationship compatibility when both partners put efforts into building and/or re-establishing a more secure type of attachment. What's your attachment style? :)